How many times is too many?

Oh, if ONLY I could make this post about sex. But instead, it's sexism, specifically the misogynistic remarks of the one and only, supporter and creator of foolish/unscientifically founded anti-vaccine group generation rescue, J.B. Handley, also known as D**chebag. Oh, and in case you didn't know, he f**ks horses. And goats. He's an evil evil vile man, and should be pelted with purses and shoes because of the crude things he said to Amy Wallace.

I didn't know your name, but thank you.

I'm watching President Obama's speech at the Human Right Campaign, and well, am moved to tears. For starters, it's amazing to have a president again who can speak fluently, eloquently, and with purpose. It's amazing to finally have been able to vote, and have my opinion be known. It's even more amazing to finally have someone who cares about righting the wrongs done to so many people for so many years. It's incredible to hear someone speak of change, and actually believe in it.
This issue of equality for the LGBT community has been near and dear to my heart for many years. I grew up attending services on Sundays in a small church, with a lesbian couple. They were (and still are, thankfully) two of the most amazing people I have ever known. Their incredible kindness, caring, and strength have affected many lives for the positive. They're both nurses, and now getting on in years. But they still keep their home a warm and loving environment for children in need. For children who's parents can't care for them because of medical need or developmental need, these two women have stepped up. I have seen many children come, age, and go, departing this world after only a short time because they were born so sick. I love these two women so much, but am greatly angered that they do not have the same rights as I do. They are denied basic rights that I have access to, should I marry. I can marry. They cannot. I want this to change.
I've known those two women my whole life, but there's another who I'd love to recognize for her outstanding courage and strength to not deny who she was. When I was a freshman in high school, there was an eclectic, unique woman who was interning with my geometry professor. This girl wore colorful clothes, baggy shorts, short hair, many piercings, and buzzed hair. She didn't shave her legs. She was the complete opposite of the standard high school student. She refused to lie to the world about her identity, and I loved her for that. I was confused by her, until I heard a poem she wrote performed at our Reverie club afterschool. She wrote and performed a poem about the death of her razor. She was so strong, so powerful, so unabashedly gay, that I wanted to hug her and kiss her.
I know what it's like to be gay in high school. Maybe not completely, because I myself am not gay, but I've been there when a friend was too afraid to get his things from the locker room, because the other guys couldn't handle his homosexuality. I've been there when friends have been humiliated, both publicly and privately. I've tried my hardest to support them and defend them, to encourage and protect them, from the harsh cruel world high school can be. Not all LGBT individuals survive high school. It's an absolute abomination and travesty that we can go about our lives not acknowledging this, and doing something about this.
I've written my new representatives, I've celebrated Day of Silence (April 16th!), I've supported my friends and strangers. But it's not enough. Nothing I do will be enough until equality is reached. Please, if you have felt love, think what it would be like to be told your love is wrong. Your life is wrong. That you, your identity, is wrong. If you have children, or want children, think how it'd feel to be told you're not fit, that you can't HAVE them. Think how much that would hurt. And remember that pain, because that's what many LGBT individuals experience daily. So, please, don't sit idle waiting for change to find you and your community. Help change come. Contact your representatives, email the president, march peacefully, and support and love your neighbor. Love is human instinct. How dare people try to take that from others.

Female Identities, as told by Facebook

Ugh. So as a real person, I was wandering around Facebook, and found a little quiz that (based on your answers) tells you which type of girl you are. Options include: sporty, goth, nerdy, daddy's girl, and blonde bimbo. Nice. For shins and giggles, I took the test. I was considered a "nerd". Fine by me. Sort of. While taking these stupid quizzes (oh extreme boredom, how I loathe you), it became quite obvious which responses would generate a particular result. And in all honesty, I'm more than just a silly contrite stereotype label.

I hate that our society finds it necessary to catagorize us, package us, and segregate us based on cliche concepts. I like to do sports. I care (on occasion) about what I'm wearing. I love learning new techniques and ideas. I like green, blue, and black. I like loud music, and classical music, and happy music. I am more than the sum of my parts. Everyone is complex, with different memories, experiences, and preferences. So why is it that we try to compartmentalize each other for easier thinking? Why do we use appearance as the number one identifier, when it actually says almost nothing about the individul underneath the clothes?

So no. I'm saying NO. Don't look at me and treat me like I am a child because I'm petite and look younger than my age. Don't assume I'm not as intelligent as you because I couldn't possibly be old enough to be educated. Don't act as though I have no life experiences to extrapolate on. Just stop it right now. If you want to think, "hey that young-looking woman has a really cute dress on today", that's perfectly fine. But don't you DARE treat me differently if I was wearing flannel pants and a rocker t-shirt. I am more than this body. I am a brain, an individual seeking constant challenge and enlightenment. Talk to me because I open my mouth, not because you want in my pants. Talk to me because you want to hear what I have to say. And I'll be sure to provide you with the courtesy. I will see you with unseeing eyes until I can better understand you through your opinions, experiences, and preferences. And I won't hold it against you if your shirts have holes in them and you talk while chewing. Unless you spray me with said food.

The evolution of my wardrobe.

I've recently been thinking about the way I dress, and why I wear what I wear. I am indeed a fan of TLC's "what not to wear" (oh Clinton, be still my heart!), but for many years, merely watched, instead of taking action towards my own wardrobe. I'll give you an idea of what I'm talking about. In high school, one of the key features of my daily school outfit would be....flannel pants. You know, those ones you can also wear to bed? Yeah. I wouldn't wear them to bed, I'd just wear them to school. I would also often wear large t-shirts, or sweat shirts. I know, sexy, right? In college, I gave myself a new years resolution that I have stuck by ever since (thankfully!). I told myself that I would wear makeup every day. Not crazy amounts, but enough to keep at least the bags out from under my eyes, and make me look awake and alive. I'm cursed (or blessed?) with fair skin, and can look rather ill if I don't wear blush. Never good with self esteem, I hid behind things until that resolution was made. Over the past year or so, I've been slowly adding solid, nice items to my collection of clothing. I even accessorize on occasion! I've made the realization that when I try to look nice, I feel better about myself. I feel more confident-sexy even. And that, might be a problem when I start my PhD program.

I'm desperately hoping that I can maintain my current wardrobe without receiving criticism for it while in my PhD program. I noticed when there last that most people were very laid back in dress. Jeans and t-shirts seemed to rule the halls, both for students and professors. Seeing as I only own one pair of jeans (and I doubt they fit anymore-lost some weight) and few t-shirts, I don't think this code will work well for me. I'm hoping that my femininity can remain intact without people undermining my intelligence. It does seem that to be taken seriously in the work place (women, in science), we need to copy the "boy's" attire. And to that I will turn on my cute flats or wedges, square my shoulders, and click clack away.

The stigma of sex

There's a gender dichotomy inherent in the United States involving sex, and I'm sick of it. It's quite probable that this issue affects other cultures outside the US, but seeing as I have no experience in other locations, I cannot comment effectively. Among the males of the species, having multiple partners is seen as a good thing. It means the male has "game," that he's a "player." He has many sexual "conquests." However, when a female has many sexual partners, she is seen as "loose," immoral, "easy," and often called a slut. A woman's reputation can be tarnished by her sexual exploits, while men receive the reverse treatment-their reputations are socially improved by multiple partners.

Personally, I'm tired of this shiznit. The current generation of 20 somethings (of which I am a part) is decreasing this societal discord, at least how I see it. It appears that many are returning to a bit of a 60's take on sexual identity, enthusiasm, and general freedom. Many women of this age group are no longer being labeled poorly for their choice in extracurricular activities. Men seem to be embracing more this concept of women being just as much pros in bed as they are-if not more so.

One of the best side effects of this is an improvement in women's self confidence. We no longer have to feel guilty for wanting sex, getting sex, and having sex. We can ask for sex if we so choose. We are not required to wait, be coy, and above all, protect our chastity. Humans are sexual creatures. We were built for copulation (whether it involves procreation or not); we have these nifty interlocking bodies that well, interlock. We are one of the few species on this entire planet who have sex for pleasure, and do so. We are not required to register each other's pheromones for improved viability and virility.

However, society and health issues still maintain some importance. For men and women who do choose to be sexually active, I can only hope that they provide their own protection. Quite simply, every individual should be prepared to protect themselves. Disease is common - though mostly treatable - and shouldn't be taken lightly. While some STD's can be cured, others will be lifelong afflictions, possibly causing harm to others. Pregnancy is a common concern. If you haven't had the baby talk with your partner, then you should not let a baby happen. Some subcultures are more open to sexually active women, while others still remain closed off. In some places, it is dangerous for women to have their sexual activity known. There are, unfortunately, people out there who believe that if you've had sex with someone, they can have sex with you. Rape is painfully common all over the world (this will be discussed in detail in a separate post). People can be and are ostracized from their communities because of their sexual decisions. So, while there have been some improvements to the sexual dichotomy in the US, it does still exist, and will for quite some time.

One last thing: please, protect yourself. People do lie-especially when pleasure is involved. Just because a gal says she's on the pill, doesn't mean she is, or that she remembers to take it every day. Just because someone says they're clean, doesn't mean they are. So, for those lovely people who choose to get some enjoyment out of their interlocking parts, have fun, and be safe.