Thursday, November 12, 2009

quick update

I've got only a minute before I've got to continue my transformation....
Anxiety:1. Me:1. Purple hair? Not yet. There's one more exam before the end of the year (Dec), so MAYBE I'll start the new year with purple hair. Cause well, that'd be totally awesome. Half Pint might have worms, again. Ugh! Eating habits are lousy, BUT, she's totes in love with Peanut Butter! Gotta run. :D

Tuesday, November 3, 2009

Anxiety: 1. Me: 1?

Anxiety kicked my patootie on the first module exam I took back at the beginning of October. I got in the room, and essentially broke down. I had a panic attack. I took that exam while having a panic attack, without letting anyone know (because I'm just THAT smart). So I tried my best at my side table, and ran out of the room as soon as I was done. Well, I didn't too hot. I have to take the module over next year. What sucks is that it's not me, it's my brain. I knew the material - I studied! But my anxiety took over, and I let it. I let my disorder win one. Well, I didn't do that yesterday! Well, I think. So, here's the issue. We took that first exam back at the beginning of October, but they didn't give us our results until last Tuesday, less than a week before the NEXT exam! We had no time to apply more effort, be more engaged, study more, or change our method of studying. They stacked the cards against us. I did poorly on the first, and barely had time to process that fact before I had to take another exam. Oi.

So, the situation sucks, but I still won one. Part of me thinks it comes down to my grade. But, whether I did well or not, I managed to put off the panic attack. I managed to keep my emotions in check, NOT freak out, and remembered to breathe, and take my time. I was so incredibly proud of myself when I turned that exam in. I was still the second one done, but I knew that I tried my hardest. Now, if I can manage to control my anxiety when studying, things would be a lot easier. I might not have done too well, because I was so anxious when studying. But during the actual exam, I was ok. So, no matter how I did on this latest exam, this new module (starting today) will be taken one day at a time. I will breathe. I will engage myself. I will breathe some more. I will conquer. They can't kick me out that quickly.

Monday, November 2, 2009

How many times is too many?

Oh, if ONLY I could make this post about sex. But instead, it's sexism, specifically the misogynistic remarks of the one and only, supporter and creator of foolish/unscientifically founded anti-vaccine group generation rescue, J.B. Handley, also known as D**chebag. Oh, and in case you didn't know, he f**ks horses. And goats. He's an evil evil vile man, and should be pelted with purses and shoes because of the crude things he said to Amy Wallace.